thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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