she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
