I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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