just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
