I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
