her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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