if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize