Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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