I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
