Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
