8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
