just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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