sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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