It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wear drunk well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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