I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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