I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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