Got a toothbrush?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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