FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
