i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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