I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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