Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize