i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
