I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
