My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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