i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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