whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
