Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
