I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
