great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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