im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
