I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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