it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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