All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
