nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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