I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
