Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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