she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize