People in love make me want to vomit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize