Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize