do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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