During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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