I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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