i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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