Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
