Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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