Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
