I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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