I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
