just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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