Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
