You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
