all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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