Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hippo gnu deer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
