sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
