is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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