i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
