id be glad to
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
