I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
