She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
