do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's like iHOP with fire
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
