You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
