I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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