am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
