who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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