we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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