The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
