3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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