I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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