Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
